You’re Allowed to Take Up Space
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” — Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)
Have you ever walked into a room and immediately made yourself smaller? Maybe you apologized before speaking. Maybe you stayed quiet when you had something valuable to contribute. Maybe you dimmed your gifts because you didn’t want to seem prideful, demanding, or “too much.”
I’ve done that.
For many years, I confused humility with invisibility. I thought serving others meant always putting myself last. I believed being a good Christian woman meant shrinking, staying quiet, and never drawing attention to myself. Somewhere along the way, I learned that taking up space felt selfish. But God never asked me to disappear. He asked me to trust Him.
When Rejection Teaches You to Shrink
As a mother, educator, and leader, I have experienced seasons where criticism and rejection made me question everything. There were moments when I doubted my voice, my decisions, and even my calling. I remember times when I would sit in meetings with ideas on my heart and choose silence instead. I worried about saying the wrong thing. I feared disappointing people. I wanted approval more than obedience.
Over time, I realized something important:
The fear I was experiencing wasn’t coming from God. It was coming from old wounds.
And wounds have a way of teaching us to make ourselves smaller than God ever intended.
My daughter, Regan, and I often talk about this from two perspectives. I bring decades of leadership experience and faith, while she brings behavioral expertise and a deep understanding of anxiety and emotional regulation. Together, we’ve seen how fear, self-doubt, and people-pleasing can convince women that they need permission to exist fully. But heaven already settled that question. God gave you permission when He created you.
“I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” — Psalm 139:14
Jesus Never Minimized Himself
Jesus served with humility, but He never hid. He spoke truth. He set boundaries. He rested. He walked away from crowds when necessary. He knew His purpose and wasn’t afraid to occupy the space God had assigned Him. Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself the way God does.
And God calls you chosen.
Worthy.
Beloved.
Called.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” — 1 Peter 2:9
God Doesn’t Call the Perfect
So many women believe they must become fearless before they step into leadership. But throughout Scripture, God called ordinary people who felt unqualified. Moses doubted his ability to speak. Esther feared for her life. Deborah led with courage. Mary said yes without knowing the entire plan.
God wasn’t looking for perfection. He was looking for surrender.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9
God doesn’t consult your past before calling you. He calls you according to purpose.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11
Three Practical Ways to Stop Shrinking
1. Notice Where You’re Apologizing for Existing
Pay attention to how often you say:
- “Sorry, this may sound silly…”
- “I’m probably wrong, but…”
- “I don’t want to bother anyone…”
I used to do this constantly. Now, instead of apologizing for having thoughts or needs, I remind myself that my voice matters because God gave it to me.
“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence.” — Hebrews 4:16
2. Replace Fear-Based Thoughts with Truth
When anxiety tells you:
“I’m not qualified.”
Replace it with:
God equips those He calls.
“Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 1:6
When self-doubt whispers:
“I don’t belong here.”
Remember:
“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.” — Psalm 138:8
Writing Scripture and speaking truth aloud has been one of the most powerful practices in my own journey.
3. Practice Taking Up Space in Small Ways
Confidence isn’t built overnight.
Start with simple steps:
- Share your opinion in a meeting.
- Say no without guilt.
- Ask for help when you need it.
- Pursue the dream God placed in your heart.
- Rest without earning it.
Small acts of courage become habits of confidence.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” — Joshua 1:9
A Lesson I Continue to Learn
Even now, there are moments when I feel tempted to shrink. Comparison creeps in. Old fears resurface. But God continually reminds me: You do not have to earn your worth. You do not have to prove your value. You do not have to apologize for being who I created you to be.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” — 1 John 4:18
Friend, taking up space isn’t arrogance. It’s stewardship. The gifts God placed within you were never meant to stay hidden. Someone needs your story. Someone needs your wisdom. Someone needs the light God placed inside of you.
Jesus Himself said:
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.” — Matthew 5:14
And maybe today, the bravest thing you can do is stop shrinking and simply agree with what heaven has already declared:
You belong.
You matter.
You are chosen.
You are deeply loved.
And you are allowed to take up space.
A Prayer for the Woman Who Has Been Shrinking
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for creating me with purpose and intention. Forgive me for believing the lie that I must become smaller to be worthy. Heal the places where rejection and fear have caused me to hide. Teach me to see myself through Your eyes. Give me courage to use the gifts You’ve placed within me. Help me to walk confidently, love deeply, and lead faithfully. May I never shrink back from the purpose You have prepared for me.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Key Scriptures to Meditate On
- Ephesians 2:10
- Psalm 139:14
- 1 Peter 2:9
- Jeremiah 29:11
- Joshua 1:9
- Philippians 1:6
- Matthew 5:14
- 1 John 4:18
Friend, God didn’t create you to disappear. He created you to shine.
“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.” — Isaiah 60:1
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
Faithfully She was created to support women who are learning to overcome self-doubt, rebuild confidence, and step into leadership with faith and emotional resilience. Explore our growing collection of guides, devotionals, courses, and encouragement created to help you lead with calm, confidence, and purpose.
